Samantha Costanza went on a fairly unremarkable date last winter. She and her date grabbed hot ciders at a Brooklyn bar. When the bill came, her date slipped the bartender his credit card.
It was only a few days later when he followed up to suggest a second date that something remarkable happened. Costanza wasn’t interested in meeting up again and spent some time crafting a polite response to her paramour.
His response? A Venmo request for her half of the ciders.
Don’t miss
-
Super-rich Americans are snatching up prime real estate abroad as US housing slumps — but here’s a sharp way to invest without having to move overseas
-
36% of millionaires say it’ll ‘take a miracle’ to retire amid rising costs and a shaky market — here are the best shock-proof assets to grow your nest egg
-
Americans are spending a ridiculous $253/month more on groceries. But this simple hack can turn your stressful daily spending into a golden nest egg
“I was in complete shock,” she told CNBC. “It made it seem like the only reason he would offer to pay for my drinks was that he expected something from me.”
Costanza isn’t the only single woman to run into an awkward moment like this. A new dating trend has been popping up, where men send money requests to women after they decline a second date. Some even express they’d like their date’s share of the bill back since they didn’t get a return on their “investment.”
In its coverage, CNBC found relationship experts and women were equally outraged by this trend — with one dating coach going so far as to call it “pathetic and unethical.” For her part, Costanza ignored her date’s Venmo request and blocked him.
A psychotherapist cited by CNBC pointed out that this new trend could be partially due to the skyrocketing cost of living. A first date costs an average of $77 according to LendingTree — a high price to pay in a time of wage stagnation and inflation.
But maybe it’s to be expected — changing economic realities create new rules around money and dating. Here’s what you need to know if you’re still playing the field.
First date talk includes money
Your mother may have told you that money talk isn’t appropriate at the dinner table, but that’s no longer the case. Singles today want to be more open with their dates — especially when it comes to money.
Dating app Bumble discovered that 28% of singles set “financial boundaries” in their love lives. A big part of this is openly discussing each other’s spending caps and financial expectations for dates. This would be an appropriate time to discuss how to split the bill on a first date, rather than sending a surprise Venmo request afterward.
Going Dutch has also become more common in dating. Bumble found that nearly half of men see the value in breaking gender roles in dating. Splitting the bill with your date or having the woman cover the first bill is no longer poor form, but a matter of embracing an equitable future together.
Read more: ‘Hold onto your money’: Jeff Bezos says you might want to rethink buying a ‘new automobile, refrigerator, or whatever’ — here are 3 better recession-proof buys
Financial compatibility is sexy
Not only do singles want to talk about money, they want to ensure that they’re on the same page as their potential partner. Bread Financial survey respondents even admitted to finding it sexy when someone pays their bills on time or has a financial adviser.
Millennials and Gen Z also tend to discuss money more frequently with partners than their baby boomer counterparts. That’s partially due to experience: nearly 1-in-5 young people blame “a lack of financial compatibility” for a previous breakup. And many (36%) of Gen Zers see making large impulse purchases as a red flag and…