“I saw a TikTok montage of Miami Beach, Brickell, nightclubs, outdoor scenery, etc. All the comments were something along the lines of ‘This is not the real Miami,’ ‘I wish this is how Miami really was,’ “Visiting is different than living here,'” lightyerr wrote. “My question is: What is the real Miami to you? What do you see that the media never portrays?”
In under two days, the solicitation has attracted more than 305 comments. Some are snarky, some insightful.
And a large number have been posted in reaction to an insightful response authored by u/HaraldRedtooth, which began:
“You live in a West Kendall housing development with your mom, dad, grandma, grandpa, and uncle in a square-shaped single-family home identical to all the houses around you (or alternatively, with your significant other in a 500-square-foot efficiency in Sweetwater.)
During the summer, the street outside your home becomes a canal three times a week. You are woken up each morning by the chickens which your Santero neighbors raise for sacrifice in their yard. Your rent is 40 percent of your income….”
u/HaraldRedtooth’s rendition of the real Miami took us on a Homeric odyssey — if Odysseus had made a side trip to Miami en route to Ithaca after the Trojan War to navigate our flooded streets, dodge reckless motorists on interminable commutes, and subsist on beans, rice, and “lechón left over from your tio’s Memorial Day barbecue at A.D. Barnes Park.”
By the stroke of midnight on October 12, the 324-word prose poem had netted 1,700 upvotes. A veritable highlight reel of the hallmarks of the “Real Miami,” the Bruegel-worthy portrait inspired comments like, “I have never read a truer depiction of my hometown.”
And: “Couldn’t have painted a better picture without using a brush.”
And “Jesus Christ. Born and raised in Miami. Nothing has described this shithole better.”
And: “Man, you nailed about 70 percent of my life with this. Spot on.”
In a similar vein, a screenshotted version posted to Twitter has inspired 4,400 retweets and nearly ten times that many likes.
Saw this post in the Miami Reddit asking what the “Real Miami” experience is like and the top reply is absolutely amazing #Miami pic.twitter.com/Vsj3R0Lvyd
— Alejandro Solana (@AlexMSolana) October 11, 2022
Reached by New Times, u/HaraldRedtooth revealed himself as Miami native Zac Cosner, a resilience programs manager with the City of Miami by day and a deep thinker by night and lunch break, the latter being when he penned his vignette.
“I was bored on my lunch break, and I was eating a quarter-chicken and rice and beans and maduro, which definitely lent to it. I wrote it thinking it was kind of funny, as I do enjoy writing, but I didn’t expect it to go as viral as it did,” says Cosner, who’s 27. “I think it came out darker than I actually believe, because I love this town, I love Miami, and I am privileged to live here.”
A third-generation Miamian, Cosner was born in Little Havana and later moved with his family to Pinecrest, where he grew up and attended Palmetto High School. Considering his repeated mentions of rice and beans, many Redditors were surprised when Cosner shared in the Reddit thread that he isn’t Cuban and admitted his Spanish “could use a little work.” He graduated from the University of Miami, and except for a brief stint in Tallahassee for work, he has never lived outside Miami-Dade County and would prefer that it stay that way. He’s a big fan of the Everglades and Biscayne National Park and describes himself as a “weird Miami nerd who loves the swamp and chaos.”
Though some users saw Cosner’s response as harsh and…
Read More: Local Reddit Commenter’s Definition of the “Real Miami” Goes Viral